Seizing Lust by Gwyn McNamee

Author:Gwyn McNamee [McNamee, Gwyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gwyn McNamee

10

Another light drizzle falls on the city of Chicago as I stand under the protective overhang of the warehouse, watching Esad’s ship pull into the dock.

It always seems to be shit weather when I have to be outside like this. Almost as if God is judging me. Trying to send me a message He can’t do in any other way. A reminder that my life is a storm of lies, deceit, and sin that can’t be washed away no matter how hard he tries. As if the visions of Michael and Aleksander that haunt me—waking and asleep—aren’t enough.

Yet, if I were able to stand inside that church with Konstandin and not be struck down right then and there by the mighty power of God, then the big man upstairs must have something else in mind for me.

Though perhaps He just enjoys torturing me, keeping me in a purgatory of my own making for as long as possible. Questioning all the things I’ve done. Wondering if I’ve made mistakes I can’t correct.

Like leaving Jet…

He’s safe—for the moment. But I can’t assume he will stay that way. It means I’ll have to bring someone in to help. Someone I can truly trust.

Too bad I don’t have that.

But I can’t go home and move him on my own. I’m not inconspicuous anymore. And if I bring him here, he’s only going to get caught in the crossfire.

Maybe the rain is a reminder that my past may drown me. It may already be. A shudder rolls through my body. Since that night at the church, I can’t seem to stay warm. An ominous chill has settled over me—made worse by the inclement weather—and it feels like I’m treading water, being dragged down, unable to take a deep breath.

Anxiety like this hasn’t ruled me since Aleksander saved me from Terrance. Standing up to him and being with him gave me the strength to overcome my own weaknesses, yet they’re all rearing their ugly heads at the same time now. Most of all…guilt.

There isn’t any time for it.

Not now. Not when I’m on the precipice of taking a step that will finally set in motion things that have been coming since the day I set foot back in Chicago as Kat.

So, I need to ignore everything else going on and focus on what this boat arriving and what my men will be doing tonight mean. The good things they mean.

Keep it together, Kat. Just a little while longer…

An engine roars behind us, and Genti and I turn toward the sound, both of us ready to draw our weapons if needed. This is the place Michael was attacked—the perfect place to stage one, really. Secluded and desolate, especially this time of night in this type of storm. No one would find us until morning, long after any evidence of the perpetrators of any attack was washed away.

A black SUV pulls up alongside the two vans Driton and Agon wait in to take the girls to the house when they unload from the ship.

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